Responsibility

"Do not be burdened by others,

Let yourself free to enjoy life.

But not to forget about the important things in life,

Balance them both and you'll do just fine."

I feel like running away. I feel burdened by the people around me. I don't have people to lend me a hand while I always did when they need someone the most. The feeling of being blamed by things that you didn't even do. I, myself is blaming me for the things that happened to others. I have a feeling of responsibility to make everything straight and running smoothly. I blame myself. My level of depression and stress has weaken my body. I'm unable to do things that I once enjoyed. I can no longer sense the feeling of joy. All i can do is write. I wish to shout and let everything out but I have no will to do so.
I feel like I'm crushed by a boulder as I run through the obstacles. I just can't take it anymore. The feeling of guilt. I deactivated my Twitter and Facebook to avoid flashbacks and to prevent my level of depression being higher. I thought I was strong enough to walk and just ignore the surrounding. But i was wrong. I am unable to move and I'm stuck in one place. Feeling helpless and burdened.
I don't have enough strength. All I can think now is to seek help from God. He is the only one who can save me from this feeling of guilt.

I understand others and are able to give them advices because I've experienced it first hand. But when I keep on helping them, their problem became one of my own. That's where the guilt came from. I am no longer able to hold such burden. I have tons of problems of my own that I need to settle. I became blue these past few days. Due to the fact that I'm having a really rough week. I would like to run away but I know that running away will only delay my problems. They will come once more until I deal them first hand. The problem is, I don't know how to overcome such situation. I've fell to the deepest pit this time and I would do anything to be up and running as I normally do.