Wanting to break free

"There will be a time for me to break free from this cage,

by that time, I will spread my wings as far as I can

and just fly away never looking back"

Life has been troublesome for me these past few weeks. I've went through a lot.

Dramas of life gets me every time. I feel like breaking down and just sit down and give up.

But then, I somehow find a will for me to keep going and never stop.

I am truly grateful to God for everything He has ever given to me.

Perhaps this is all a test from Him to me right?

      I noticed a big change in myself. But somehow I don't like this change.

It feels like I've lost a part of me that is true and pure. I feel lost. The pressure of things

going on made me who I am today. I wish to go back where everything is free from dramas, responsibility and stress. Pressured by the people who are near me, I wish to go away. 

     Another year left for me until I break free. I can't wait to feel a slight taste of freedom. 

I envy people who are already on their way on achieving their long dreamed career. 

They seem to be enjoying life more as they are no longer tied to the ground. They are like

birds which cage has been opened and they are free to fly wherever they wish. I want that.

     Reality struck me down as I dream for that day to come, long for that day to come.

It feels like part of me is waiting on the other side of the bridge. I want to cross it but

I'm chained. Unable to go, I struggle day by day. Hoping that I will find a way to break free from the

torment of reality. 

"I, myself, can only create my own fairytale.

 It is ruined by the hands of others. 

Fantasy ruined by Reality. 

Such a waste, such a waste."

     Struggling on my own in order for me to have a brighter future. Writing is the only way for me
to ease up the burden I'm carrying on my shoulders. It's a way for me to express things that I can't express in real life. I feel better whenever I let go of thoughts that I keep in my mind. This is the only way for me to, in a phrase, shout to the world that I no longer care and hit me with your best shot. Helps me get my thought straight. There is a quote that I'd like to share to you, which somehow I can relate to.

"The loneliest people are the kindest.

The saddest people smile the brightest.

The most damaged people are the wisest.

All because they do not wish to see

anyone else suffer the way they do"

By: Anonymous 

    I'm kind to people because I've been lonely long enough. I want people to share their happiness with me. To let go of problems even if its just for awhile. I smile just to cover up the sadness that surrounds me whenever I'm alone. I don't want people to frown just because I'm unhappy. I smile the brightest and I laugh the loudest but deep down the pain in my heart still stings. I give advice to people hoping that they won't do something that they might regret. I don't want to see people getting hurt when I know that I can give a little bit of a helping hand. I won't ignore it. I've done things that I regret now. I wish to not reminisce those awful painful memories. As they say it, "helping others means helping yourselves". I see things from my own perspective, just to give people another way to think. I'm not saying that I'm the wisest nor am I the kindest. But for sure, things that I can prevent from happening, I must take action. I'm here to help ease the pain of others whilst I ease my own pain.